Funny Americans Quotes – Funny Quotes about Americans
In America, anybody can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.
funny quote Adlai Stevenson

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.
funny quote Saki

Great Britain and the United States are nations separated by a common language.
funny quote George Bernard Shaw

If you suveyed a hundred typical middle-aged Americans, I bet you’d find that only two of them could tell you their blood types, but every last one of them would know the theme song from the ‘Beverly Hillbillies’.
funny quote Dave Barry

People come to Washington believing it is the center of power. I know I did. It was only much later that I learned that Washington is a steering wheel that’s not connected to an engine.
funny quote Richard Goodwin

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology.
funny quote Clive James

The trouble with America isn’t that the poetry of life has turned to prose, but that it has turned to advertising copy.
funny quote Louis Kronenberger

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.
funny quote Dan Rather

When good Americans die they go to Paris. When bad Americans die they go to America.
funny quote Oscar Wilde

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it merely had been detected.
funny quote Oscar Wilde

America is the best half-educated country in the world.
Funny quoteNicholas Murray Butler

American can do better, and help is on the way.
funny quote John Kerry

In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. This is what makes America what it is.
funny Gertrude Stein quotes

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.
funny quote Bill Vaughan

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.
funny quote John Barrymore

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. — (Napalm and Silly Putty, 2001)
funny quote George Carlin

They are a superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone.
funny Mohammed Saeed Al Sahaf

The authority of the civil defence issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps. They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children.
funny quote Mohammed Saeed Al Sahaf

As our leader Saddam Hussein said, ‘God is grilling their stomachs in hell.’
funny quote Mohammed Saeed Al Sahaf

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing – like showering.
funny quote Yakov Smirnoff

It’s complicated, being an American, having the money and the bad conscience, both at the same time.
funny quote Louis Simpson

America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
funny quote Arnold Joseph Toynbee

Transplanting the ballet to the US is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota.
funny quote Lincoln Kirstein

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
funny quote Bobcat Goldthwaite

The only things that the United States has given to the world are skyscrapers, jazz, and cocktails. That is all. And in Cuba, in our America, they make much better cocktails.
funny quote Federico Garcia Lorca

The United States of America will sound as pompously in the world or in history as The Kingdom of Great Britain.
funny quote Thomas Paine

Democracy–rule by the people–sounds like a fine thing; we should try it sometime in America.
funny quote Edward Abbey

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.
funny quote Dave Barry

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West.
funny quote Dave Barry